So this is my first post in... About a month? Maybe longer.....
I'm really down in the dumps. Like you don't even know. So I'm going to explain something.
I have never felt love, nor have I felt loved. My mother was a crack-addict, so she was never truly a mother to me, and my dad is... I've explained my fatherly issues before.
I wasn't ever taught anything about love. My step-mom came in too late to try to teach me I guess. She tries, but it's a fruitless effort.
I hate myself for not being able to express the emotion "love" and because of it, I beleive love is a non-existent emotion. No one feels love. It's all lust or a highschool crush.
I've tried to feel loved from ppl, but whenever I tell them I love them, or send them a <3 in a good bye message, I get a simple "bye"...... No love in the message whatsoever.....
So why bother? Why bother with ANYTHING really.... Be better if I just disappeared and made everyones life just a little easier. I feel like I have no purpose in this life except to stay alive long enuff to realize I'm pointless.
So I want to thank all of you who read my blog, but I bid you farewell. This shall be my final blog post for at least 2 years. I'm sorry to any who were looking forward to my endless rants, or my valid arguments on real-life issues. This is Bi-Boy, signing out.
Things to remember: my half-brother and father are homophobes, my step-mom tries too hard, my three half-sisters are the nicest people on the planet, my biological mother Darla is a crack-addict, my "mom" Brittaknee is by far the greatest thing on the face of our universe, and contrary to popular belief I'm gay, not bi.
Thank you, and good night.
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you can't think like this! disappearing will only make things worse! and there are people out there who love you! no ones ever truly alone without love! there will always be someone there waiting.
ReplyDeleteYou are important! your life has a point, maybe you just haven't found it yet. but you will, trust me you will!
also, i'm bi, and my mother and father are homophobes, so i understand how you feel in that respect. you're not alone
don't give up on yourself.
So because you don't feel love it's nonexistant? I find that pretty self centered and just dumb. The world doesn't revolve around you, just because you don't feel an emotion, that gets thrown around constantly without meaning, you deny its existance. Pretty sure that ain't how shit works in the real world. Love isn't something that you're taught, you have to learn it yourself, and if you're incapable of doing that then you're probably lacking necissary brain cells. And you can't express emotions over the internet, if you think that you can then you must be a shallow, bland person. And if you disappeared, I doubt that that would make a difference if you really feel that you're this insignificant. Every life is pointless until you make something out of it, so are you going to do that or bitch to the world about all your problems until then? I don't think it's accomplished as easily as attention-whoring yourself out on the internet, so if that's all you're capable of then good luck with that, lol. You're also in no place to call your arguments valid, since they're one sided and thus incomplete, so overall it's wasted space if anything. And I don't think anyone cares, it's painfully obvious that you're only fishing for attention since it's in no way related to your previous discussion. Nice effort though, thanks for trying anyways.
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