To my wonderful followers...

I am "moving" to Tumblr. I might post here once in awhile, but I am going to use Tumblr more often now. Deathisinevitable.tumblr.com

Why?

Why do good people die young?

For the past 3 nights, I have endured nightmares that leave me awake and unable to sleep again. During this time that I'm awake, I think about the world around me.

And then, I cry.......

If there is a god, he is a cruel, sick being. There's no way that he can be considered a "loving, caring god" when he kills off young, innocent people. Think about it. Was there ever somebody in your life that didn't deserve to die, but still did?

Now think about this: was there ever a person who deserved to die, but ended up living a long, healthy life?

I personally don't believe in god..... I have my own beliefs which follow simple facts.

When your heart stops, the brain stays active for 7 minutes afterwards. When you dream your longest possible dream, which seems to take the entire night, and then some, you're really only seeing about 20 seconds worth of things before you wake up.

My friend told me about Lucid Dreaming. It's the art of controlling what happens in your dreams. If you take all these things and put them together, you can simulate your own afterlife.

7 minutes.... It will seem like a few days, but by then you will be lost in it's splendor. I know you can and will control your "afterdream", and I hope that you make it worthwile.

Thank you and goodnight.

Happy Tears... And Sad ones too....

I am crying as I type this.

I have truly amazing friends. Like actually. I love all of you, and never forget that.

Today my best friend told me they were dieing slowly. They would live only till thier 30's..... And I started crying then.....

Then later on a friend posted something I would love to share with you. It is titled Happy Tears, and makes me cry whenever I read it.

"So today , really sucked.

Everything was going wrong .
Literally everything .

I always have this friend I talk to .
His name is Cory .
He is really amazing .

It is not often that I get upset .
But today I did .

I told Cory this .
And explained what happened .

Then I showed him something that I told one of the people.
It was a direct quote of what he told me to say .

Then this conversation took place .

Cory ; You just made my life
Me ; I am glad .
Cory ; You always manage to make me happy , no matter how sad I am .

At the sight of these words , I started crying my eyes out . If I could make every person I meet say those words , my life goal would be truly complete.

-And so the conversation continued .
Me ; You have absolutley no idea how happy those 13 words just made me .
Cory ; =] True facts
Me ; You made me cry happy tears .
Cory ; You are my sunshine , my only sunshine ... You make me happy when skies are grey ...
Me ; You 'll never know dear , how much I Love you . So please don 't take my sunshine away .



I guess theres just one thing I am trying to get across here ,


which is that Cory Green , yeah , he is a truly amazing person .
I 've confided in him things that I have never told anyone else .

I trust him above all people.
I am very proud to be able to say he is my best friend."

No matter when I read that, I choke up... It's the nicest thing anyone has done for me.

I know I promised to "disappear" for two years, but this needed to be said. I want all of you who read this to know that if you find someone who truly makes you happy, keep them as close as possible. I mean this. No matter what happens.

Thank you, and Goodnight.

*sigh*

So this is my first post in... About a month? Maybe longer.....

I'm really down in the dumps. Like you don't even know. So I'm going to explain something.

I have never felt love, nor have I felt loved. My mother was a crack-addict, so she was never truly a mother to me, and my dad is... I've explained my fatherly issues before.

I wasn't ever taught anything about love. My step-mom came in too late to try to teach me I guess. She tries, but it's a fruitless effort.

I hate myself for not being able to express the emotion "love" and because of it, I beleive love is a non-existent emotion. No one feels love. It's all lust or a highschool crush.

I've tried to feel loved from ppl, but whenever I tell them I love them, or send them a <3 in a good bye message, I get a simple "bye"...... No love in the message whatsoever.....

So why bother? Why bother with ANYTHING really.... Be better if I just disappeared and made everyones life just a little easier. I feel like I have no purpose in this life except to stay alive long enuff to realize I'm pointless.

So I want to thank all of you who read my blog, but I bid you farewell. This shall be my final blog post for at least 2 years. I'm sorry to any who were looking forward to my endless rants, or my valid arguments on real-life issues. This is Bi-Boy, signing out.

Things to remember: my half-brother and father are homophobes, my step-mom tries too hard, my three half-sisters are the nicest people on the planet, my biological mother Darla is a crack-addict, my "mom" Brittaknee is by far the greatest thing on the face of our universe, and contrary to popular belief I'm gay, not bi.

Thank you, and good night.

Freedom of Speech

it has died. it honestly has. if i cant say things about someone who has ruined my life, i dont know where this world is going. who DOESNT say bad things about ppl they r angry about?? im sure even you, YES YOU, have said a bad thing about a parent. DEAL WITH IT. it could be worse, i could have succumbed to the violent thoughts i have, thrown a glass at a wall, broken a window or even have just left!

i dont see why you reacted in the way u did, so im sorry.

Rape-Fest!!

Let's start something.

From now on, I declare the first full week of May to be Rape-Fest. Randomly glomp, dogpile, and lay with ppl u know and mebbe even start a "lazy orgy".

Let's see if this becomes a regular occurance.

Should I stay? Or should I go?

You have broken my heart 3 times.

I've over-reacted once or twice.

We never talk in person.

Is there room for change?

Things will need to.

I don't want to run around secretly with you.

People are mad just because I like you still.

Will you hurt me again?

Will this be never-ending?

Can you manage a relationship?

I will give you one more chance.

Drugs are Bad

I may not be the greatest spokesperson on this topic, but some people don't realize simple things about drugs.

Marijuana (aka pot, green, kush, kronik, weed) is bad, but only as bad as like alchohol or cigarettes. People banned them because the hemp (stem) of the plant was taking over fabric and paper industry.

Ecstacy is terrible. I don't care how great the high is. Wanna kno what gives u that high? Ecstacy melts yer brain. Litterally. And the melted brain drips onto your spinal cord. Sounds "fun", eh? A real boredom buster for sure.

Arguments

God they suck, especially when they are about the stupidest shit.

And it's even worse when the person you're arguing with is a complete basket-case and screaming at you to calm down.

I AM CALM! I'm not screaming, or waving my arms, or swearing. Go look in a mirror. Seriously. Right now.

Just for fun, carry a pocketmirror into an arguement for just that. Whip it out so they can see how ridiculous they look.

Nobodies Perfect....

I learned this today. The hard way.

I have been tortured mentally by many people, and hated every second of it, but I just did to one of them the exact thing they did to me.

I am crying, I am dieing, I'm alone but I'm not the only one.

That's what I want written on my tombstone when I die, IF I ever die. Am I just to be put through this all on a loop?

Sure feels that way.

I hate myself at the moment. How could I do that? What possessed me to do this? Questions I usually ask about other people....

My heart is heavy, my stomach hurts, my eyes are watering. Is this what the world wants of me? A constant source of despair?

Shush your face

I dislike people who won't let you be who you want to, /especially/ when they are the people who once said "be whoever you wanna be"

Can't you just realize that I am the way I am and I like being this way? SO WHAT if I wear Brittany the bandana?! SO WHAT if I wear a rainbow pin on my left pocket?! SO WHAT if I listen to screamo, and death metal, and alternative, and pop?!?!

Does it all even matter? NO
Do you still get mad when I wear Brittany? YES for some fukky reason!

Here you go...

Recently I went on a journey. And on this journey, I did some thinking. I found stuff out that is really helpful in my life.

First off, my biological sex is male. My gender ID is undetermined becuz I don't know what I want to be. My gender expression is /going/ to be androgynous, if I ever have money. BUT....

My sexuality is something I've had troubles with. I considered myself a bisexual, but never felt it /fit/ with how I feel.

Then a friend introduced the term "biromanticism" to me and I did some research, a lot of thinking and found that I am ACTUALLY considering referring to myself as a "biromantic homosexual".

I feel no sexual attraction towards any girl, but I would still get with a girl. I would get with a guy as well, but sex is something that will have to wait. It'll happen, but not for a while.

This is just some things about me that I think people should know.

BAIIZ!

Am i insane?

so.. i totally name things around my house, just so i can yell at them while using their name.

i have yelled at Bob the Techno-chair for his stupid wheels not wanting o roll across carpets and making me trip over him whenever i go to open my window.

i have yelled at Timmy the Toaster, cuz he likes to burn the toast, or not toast it at all.

i have yelled at Yoshi multiple times, for she does not like to keep eBuddy up and running, but crashing every chance it gets.

i recently have acquired my bandana, named Brittany (after a friend) and she doesn't like to stay tyed up around my neck.


does this make me crazy? does this make me weird? i dont think so.

Coke VS. Pepsi

Everyone's favourite question: Coke or Pepsi?!

You can taste the difference for sure, but overall it's just two pops made by the same company. To each their own....

Did you know that Pepsi in the states is like... Syruppy thick!?

How about that if there wasn't caramel colouring in Coke, it would be a green colour!

Interesting facts, ehhh??? No one cares though xD it tastes good. So who cares if you prefer one over the other, don't freak out when you ask for coke and they bring you a pepsi.

Me

A few things you may not kno about me, and no one can say they know everything that will be written here (Kelly).....


First off, my gender ID is Undetermined, and I don't care what I'm refferd to as. Fuk call me a tree for all I care.

Wich brings me to my next subject! I would absolutely fukn LOVE <3<3 to be a tree.... Or a plant of some sort. Plant life is never ending, and it would be cool to just chill out and watch the world go by.

I dress in a way that is rather masculine, but that is gonna change soon. I will still look like a guy, just in tighter pants and my bandana whereverthefuk I feel like having it.

I dislike all forms of religion. Don't push yer beleifs on me, i'll set u on fire. If I hear "God Bless You" again, I'm gonna make a deal out of it!

So there's four points of my life that u may have known 1 or 2 before, but now it's all out for u!

BAIIZ!!!

Oh, Waiter!

Don't you hate when you go to a resturaunt that is just fukn TERRIBLE?

I remember this time I was on a trip with a class for school, and we dropped by this resturaunt for some spaghetti..... Good right?

WRONG!

The salad was old lettuce with water sauce, and I found a lemon rind in it (srsly?!) yea. A fukn chunk of lemon rind. Nice.

The spaghetti is set before me and it is just depressing. Rubber noodles with (once again) water sauce! Funnnn.....

Then there's the one thing everyone hates to love, FAST FOOD! U always see the ads showing u a three inch patty stacked with wonderful amounts of lettuce, pickles, cheese, bacon... The works....

Then u GET the burger and realize the whole fukn thing is just under an inch, and it doesn't have cheese or lettuce or anything except some microwaved, paperthin bacon strips.... =/ tasty

Just be grateful of whatever place u eat at, it can't be TERRIBLE.....

BAIIZ!!!

I Am.....

I am the cold shell left from the untimely demise of an evil heart and a broken soul. I am all that you want and all you can't have. I am all the world needs and all it hates. I am everywhere. I am nowhere. I am here, I am there. I am a marvel. I am a martyr. I am hurting, I feel no pain. I wish upon you happiness. I bring to you suffering. I am amazing. I am exhausting. I am who I am. I am Nobody

Musix to mine ears

You ever listen to that song that just DESCRIBES you? How you feel, what you want to say to someone, or just what your everyday look on life is?

Those are the best, and I've listend to SO MANY like that.....

Everybody Hurts by REM is one that describes my life... Honestly it is..... Same with Lip Gloss & Black by Atreyu

Blow by Atreyu described my feelings while I was pissed about that kid who lied to me......

If there's anything you wanna say about songs that describe YOU, post them below!

BAIIZ!!

F****T!!!

I
Fukn
HATE
That
Word.....

It is my least favorite word, and I die a little bit everytime I hear it..... It's a HORRIBLE word that should not exist....

What's worse is when your friends hear you being called it and don't even try to stick up for you! In case you havnt clued in, yes this just happnd to me, and I'm as pissed as can be

Wouldn't you stick up for a queer friend who was being discriminated against? I sure as fuck would!!

Triple Chins of DOOM!!!

Who hasn't had at least one morbidly obese teacher?

I have witnessed quite a few myself, and they have all scared me! I've seen them break desks cuz they sat on them (lol) and it makes me wonder, why don't you do something about it?

I understand that sometimes they have glandular problems or sometimes even low metabolisms, but most the time you just wanna yell "PUT DOWN THAT FORK".......

I know I'm mean about this subject, and I'm prolly gonna get some negative reactions, but when I have a fat gym teacher, I get SO pissed when they tell me I'm not fit enough.... (which has happened before)

My favourite "fat teacher" was my foods teacher last year. She was a great teacher, but get her mad and she will chase you, chins a-waggin (all 3 of them) and you bettr get to higher ground! Stay away from going downhill, you are screwed if they trip......

Don't hate me :D

BAIIZ!!!

WTF Moments

We all have them, admit it....

They come in many different forms, sometimes while you game out, sometimes while your living a normal day!

My two favorite while gaming are the "what the fuck is this magic?" moment and the "I just hit an invisible WTF while driving this car"......

"What the fuck is this magic" is when something happens in a game that makes NO DAMN SENSE.... Like an opponent surviving a seemingly fatal attack....

And the Invisible Wtf's? That's when you are driving down a road in Grand Theft Auto and somehow manage to flip your car on a straightaway without any obstacles....

When your in real life though, the greatest WTF moment I've experienced is when something like Death Metal music starts to put you to sleep.... Cuz that makes sense!....

Well that's what I got for this rant, thank you to my friends for coming up with some good moments and ideas for rants!

BAIIZ!!!

Back To Rants......

ugh, kay.....

so, after some thought and a little use of my brainmeat, i have decided that i shall rant about: CELLPHONES!!!! (yayyy)

i personally believe that cellphones are handy little devices, BUT, my good golly grief are they overused.... i see people texting EVERYWHERE i look! in school, in the public library, on the street...... its ridiculous....... just a lil......

and since people do this, cellphones are banned from classrooms now, cuz techers think kids will text answer to each other.....

yes cuz y'know, the friggin blondes are like 75% of the texters in the average classroom and like, really, what are they gonna text for answers to each other?

if you actually read the basic text conversation you will find it is nothing but gossip, i garauntee...... seriously chek all yer texting friends phones it'll either be gossip or they r making plans for the weekend or sumn...... kay i cant rant about this anymore,

BAIIZZZ!!!!!!

Soo........

Many people think they know me, I disagree....

Nobody truly understands what goes on in my life, not even me. So how can you claim to know stuff about me that I don't even know? It doesn't make sense, does it?

I'm not angry with any of you anymore, just a little annoyed. You can try to make it up to me, it will probably work if you are nice enough.

ANGER

WOW......

Toying with someone's emotions is the BIGGEST dick-move I've ever witnessed.....

How can you say one thing, go with it for awhile, AND THEN COMPLETELY SWITCH IT AROUND!!??

Fucking wow.... There are no words to describe my feelings for you, and if you're reading this, GOOD, I hope you understand where I'm coming from.

Emotions flying, I leave you with this: toy with me again, I'll kill you.....

Not even joking

BAIIZ!!

Re: OOPS

SO...

Turns out he WASNT mad, but quite interested in me.....

A little bit of a turn of events, and I am still confused cuz I have no idea WHAT to do..... Should I give him a try....?

He wants a bit more than I do either way.....

OOPS

So I totally fukd my chances this weekend.......

There's this guy I've been wanting pree much since I met him annnnddddd he found sumn out that I did NOT want him to....... I relly feel bad that he found out and it's prolly THE most depressing thing I've ever been faced with.

I have NO idea wat to do and all I WANT to do is tell him I'm sorry....... It will NOT HAPPEN AGAIN and I want to be forgiven....

Even just this once.....

Sex Talk

Well, sex has been blown way the fuck out of proportion..... And not just the action of fucking, just everything sexual in general....

Every year, a grade younger girls dress sluttier and start fooling around. I have noticed this.

I myself don't care for the whole "sex fad" that is everywhere we look. It's kind of ridiculous! Sex was originally meant to be saved for after marriage, but now ppl Fuck For Fun! FFF FFS!!

So, I honestly don't care if u and yer significant other do your laundry on a nightly basis, I don't want to hear about it. Leave me outta your sex life, no matter how miraculous it may be.

Now I'm done for this topic, go do the horizantal monster mash for all I care.

BAIIZ!!!!

Great Religion Discussion

Ok, so today at school we had a discussion that involved Satanism, and one person said that Satanists are "evil".

I strongly disagree.

I don't beleive that someone belief should mark them as "bad" or "evil", because it's just what the freaking beleive in. Does being a Christian automatically make you a "good" person?

Or how about this food for thought, a Satanist works as a nurse and helps save lives...... She is a good person with different beliefs. A murderer who is Christian...... He is a baaaadddd person.

See what I'm saying?

Another thing (talking about murder), more people have died at the hands of Christianity than Satanism, because (contrary to popular belief) Satanists sacrifice ANIMALS not HUMANS. Or BABIES. Or EAT HUMAN HEARTS.

And the people killed by Christianity? Uuhhh hheeellloooooooo....... The Crusades, the Inquisition... The list goes on.

Any arguments? Comment below.

BAIIZ!!!

Great Talk About Sexualities

So, here's a pet peeve and a half.....

I really hate people who SAY their bi, but they really aren't..... It really makes me feel that they ruin it for us that actually ARE.......

Another thing that is extremely frustrating is the guys who will watch lesbian porn and think chicks who are lesbians are some kind of special, but will beat the SHIT out of any other GUY who is that way (gay/bi)

Another thing I'm having trouble with is this buddy of mine.

They told me they were bi and they haven't told anyone else, and they want me to keep it a secret, but I honestly think that when someone is SURE of their sexuality, they shouldn't keep it a secret.

Comment below what you have to say on these three topics.

BAIIZ!!!

Just Another Normal Day....

So I'm walking down the hall, and someone yells "Hey, nice hair FAGGOT"......

Really?!

So I really hate the whole gay-bashin, redneck city I live in.....

Either way, I have to deal with about 5 people a day who hate me just based on my sexuality........ It's kinda depressing

Anywho, if you have any hate in your life, leave a comment down below!

BAIIZ!!

Great Parenting Skills

Ok, so this is my first blog EVER.........

Anywho, I was chilling out in the living room on my iPod (which hereafter shall be referred to as Yoshi) and my dad looks over and asks "why would you want a PINK cover for it?" and I simply ask "why not?"...... Well here comes the BEST PART! He says "well it's a lil GAY, don't you think? I mean, it's pretty girly..."

Owch.....

It's even worse when you think of the fact that he KNOWS I'm a Bisexual....... >_>

So if you have any Great Parenting Skills that you've suffered through, comment on here what they are!!

BAIIZ!!